Beginnings on the West Side

Nearing the end of day three in Vancouver, and I have purposely been taking it easy. Don't worry, I won't make the same mistake as Toronto and naff off before I get the chance to see any of the sights, I am fairly certain I will be staying in BC for the foreseeable future!

It has been a fairly productive first few days. There has also been plenty of sitting on my arse, messing around on monster.ca, and playing NHL 2002 which I downloaded, created myself and became the best hockey player in history.

Day One was when I was feeling most sociable. I sat myself down in the bar, watched the hockey (Montreal getting panned my Toronto, dammit!), and drank myself into oblivion. Three days on the bus with deprived sleep, and then minimal food that day did nothing to help.

Needless to say, the following day was a write-off. I did manage to limp up to Stanley Park and take in some of the scenery around Vancouver, which is amazing I should add. Today was the most productive.

Fresh and recovered, finally, from the first night's festivities, I set about creating my BC life. First of all, I enquired about jobs in the hostel where I am staying, which would mean free board and therefore loads of cash!

Then on to the SWAP offices, where I ended up enrolling in the SunRun, a 10km run that takes place later on in April! It is something to work for I supposed after a snowy winter of hibernation.

In this ilk, I made my way to a place where they arrange running clinics twice a week, signed myself up and bought some flash new running trainers! So I'll be back like Paula Radcliffe in no time!

Applying for millions of jobs has been the other task enveloping me at the moment. It has been a vast and varied menagerie, from journalism internships to bar jobs to odd-job bloke. Anything that keeps me alive is good enough to begin with.

So in Van, BC, it is all good. Apart from crazy Quebecois! In my room on the first night, was a guy called Simon. He seemed nice enough at first. He (voluntarily) told me his life story, about how he loves to rap and how he is in British Columbia to learn English and spread his word and skills further. Quite commendable, I thought.

Then things began to turn sour. There was signs of it in the first conversation I had with him. He did mention that he had been here a month and didn't like it.

A couple of hours later, and evidently about a dozen cans of some cheap alcoholic fluid for Simon, I returned to the room. There I found a completely inebriated French-Canadian with not much faith in life and people.

The dialogue went something like this:

Simon: "Hey man. You are a good man. You are a nice guy."
Graham: "Err....cheers."
S: "I am a bastard. A shit. I am shit!"
G: "Er-"
S: "A shit!! Spit on me! I am a bastard. Shit on me!"

It was at this stage I recoiled into my bottom bunk bed, and Simon stumbled out into the corridor, shouting expletives at anyone passing by.

I went to sleep.

-

The time is 2:30am. Now I hear voices, and the light flicks on. I am hoping and praying that Simon doesn't talk to me and/or vomit all over my bed (which is the only eventual course of action I could see occurring).

Then I heard other voices. I slowly, and cautiously, turned round. I made an effort to make it seem that I was still asleep. Through half-closed eyes I could make out the symbol of the Vancouver constabulary! To this day, I don't know what Simon did, but to cut a long story short, he managed to argue himself from a full refund and expulsion from the hostel, to no refund and a night in the cells.

So that was Simon.